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Post by wirewiper on Sept 21, 2019 15:12:43 GMT
We had one of these threads a few years back, but it looks like it was closed due to inactivity.
However I feel we could all do with a laugh these days, so here's one to kick off:
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Two men drinking in the Archway Tavern, hadn't realised that the time was passing. As they left the pub they saw the last W5 leaving and signalled frantically for it to stop, but the driver ignored them and drove on.
One of the men was furious. He said, "I'm going to go down to Holloway Garage, take a bus from there and drive it home myself. Wait here and I'll pick you up".
So off the man goes. His friend waits, and waits, and waits ..... and around half an hour later his mate returns, but on foot.
"I thought you were going to take a bus out of Holloway Garage and drive it home?"
"Yes I was - but I couldn't find a W5 in there!"
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Post by ServerKing on Sept 22, 2019 5:58:51 GMT
You don't always have to give up your seat for a lady.
That's how I lost my job on the 243 as a driver.
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Post by M1104 on Sept 22, 2019 13:12:58 GMT
This morning I was running for a 152 which was now moving off from the Pollards Hill bus stand. In future I really must remember the handbrakes.
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Post by wirewiper on Sept 25, 2019 17:45:34 GMT
Regular passenger, tendering fare: "You know what I want".
Driver: "I do - but let me take your fare first".
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Post by MetrolineGA1511 on Oct 12, 2019 20:39:20 GMT
A couple boarding a bus: Is this 142?
Driver: No, it's one for everybody.
A couple boarding a bus: Sorry, we left our Oysters at home.
Driver: No need to apologise, that's the best place for you to have your dinner.
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Post by rif153 on Oct 12, 2019 21:43:03 GMT
A couple boarding a bus: Is this 142? Driver: No, it's one for everybody. I’m resisting from making the seventy-free pun off the back of your 142 pun, but whilst the phrase is ten years old, it’s still very relevant now. |
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Post by wirewiper on Oct 16, 2019 11:01:13 GMT
Extinction Rebellion brought roads in Central London to a complete standstill for several hours on Monday. Bus passengers barely noticed  |
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Post by Eastlondoner62 on Oct 16, 2019 11:17:14 GMT
Extinction Rebellion brought roads in Central London to a complete standstill for several hours on Monday. Bus passengers barely noticed You say that as a joke, last Friday I was on the 8 at Bank and as XR had brought Bishopsgate to a halt the bus was just stuck in a jam yet I could hear all the passengers simply muttering about how London traffic was just bad!  |
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Post by MetrolineGA1511 on Nov 2, 2019 20:51:09 GMT
Passenger: Who will be taking over route 266 on December 7th?
TfL: RATP
Passenger: Weren't they number 1 at Christmas 2009?
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Post by MetrolineGA1511 on Dec 28, 2019 4:47:14 GMT
Bus company marketing division: We shall be running more frequent and reliable services in the new year
Public: Pity the year will start with no buses on New Year's Day
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Post by busaholic on Dec 28, 2019 22:59:06 GMT
Bus company marketing division: We shall be running more frequent and reliable services in the new year Public: Pity the year will start with no buses on New Year's Day Don't give up the day job  |
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Post by MetrolineGA1511 on Dec 29, 2019 7:03:40 GMT
Bus company marketing division: We shall be running more frequent and reliable services in the new year Public: Pity the year will start with no buses on New Year's Day Don't give up the day job I have given up the day job up to and including New Year's Day.  |
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Post by M1104 on Dec 29, 2019 14:57:58 GMT
I often get a 147 when I play snooker. It’s the bus that stops outside the hall.
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Post by MetrolineGA1511 on Dec 29, 2019 17:00:01 GMT
I often get a 147 when I play snooker. It’s the bus that stops outside the hall. From what batch of Enviro 400 can you deduce who last phone your landline? A 147 1. |
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Post by busaholic on Dec 29, 2019 19:24:05 GMT
I often get a 147 when I play snooker. It’s the bus that stops outside the hall. I used to play on Croxted Road, and I often got a 3. |
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